Gottman Method Couples Therapy

Supporting relationships by increasing closeness, addressing conflict, and improving communication.

What is Gottman Method Couples Therapy?

The Gottman Method is a research-based approach to couples counselling. It aims to improve conflict resolutions skills, intimacy, connection, and empathy within a relationship. 

What Can Gottman Method Couples Therapy Help With?

The Gottman Method can help couples to address a variety of concerns in their relationship, including but not limited to:

  • Frequent conflict

  • Emotional distance

  • Lack of communication

  • Infidelity

  • Parenting

  • Finances

  • Sex and intimacy 

But what makes the Gottman Method so useful is that even couples without any pressing concerns can use it to improve overall relationship health. You don’t necessarily have to wait for a big problem to seek couples counselling. In fact, doing so early on can help people understand and navigate their relationships better.

A visibly frustrated couple make eye contact on a couch

Techniques Used in Gottman Method Couples Therapy

The Gottman Method is based on the Sound Relationship Theory which describes a relationship as a ‘house’ with seven levels. There are additionally two ‘walls’ which hold the relationship together and keep its foundation intact.

Build love maps

The first level involves partners learning about each other inner hopes, desires, and worries, or what the Gottman Method refers to as “inner psychological worlds”.

Share fondness and admiration

The second level involves partners learning to give each other respect and appreciation. This can be done through small, everyday gestures. 

Turn towards, not away

The third level teaches people how to express their own needs, as well as recognize their partner’s calls for connection and support.

The positive perspective

The fourth level teaches couples to give each other room for mistakes and view each other in a more understanding and positive light instead of a critical and resentful one. This is especially useful when dealing with conflict.

Manage conflict

The fifth level helps couples deal with conflict in a calm and gentle manner. Some of the ways in which this can be practiced are:

  • Presenting the complaint in a non-attacking manner

  • Being mindful of each other’s feelings during the conflict

  • Calmly and respectfully discussing the problem

  • Learning to self-soothe when you feel overwhelmed

  • Compromising where necessary and possible

Make life dreams come true

The sixth level helps partners learn how to support each other’s hopes and ambitions.

Create shared meaning

The seventh level is about creating practices and meanings that are unique to your relationship and foster intimacy and connection. 

Trust 

The first wall of the Sound Relationship House is that of trust. Having trust means both partners are able to depend on each other. It also involves partners having each other’s best interests at heart. 

Commitment 

The second wall of the Sound Relationship House is that of commitment. Having commitment involves a couple viewing themselves as one team. It includes staying by your partner’s side, especially during conflict, and making consistent attempts to repair and improve the relationship.

Silhouettes of a couple riding bicycles against a pink-purple sky. The woman extends her hand backward to the man who holds it while they both bicycle.

Reach Out To Us

Located at 206 Ontario Street Stratford, we are local to Tavistock, New Hamburg, and the Kitchener-Waterloo area. Our clinicians also offer remote therapy across Ontario so that you can access the support you need - no matter where you are!

To get started you can fill out a contact form, call (226) 215-4244, or book an appointment online with one of our counsellors by clicking below.

We’re looking forward to supporting you!