Divorce
Helping you navigate some of life’s most difficult waters.
Even when we enter relationships in love and are excited to join with another on our life’s journey, that love isn’t always enough. On the contrary, marriage and relationships with our significant others are built on important foundations, which if not met, can lead to problems. Sometimes these problems can be resolved, but other times, they may be irreconcilable. This can mean the end of a relationship through separation or divorce.
Reasons for Divorce
While every marriage is unique, some common problems can signal the end of the relationship.
A few reasons that may lead to divorce or separation include:
Incompatibility
People fall in love for many reasons, one of them being perceived similarities. But sometimes, people grow and change.
When couples begin to find an absence of common ground, be it their interests, personal beliefs, or other disagreements about their children or finances, this can lead to feeligs of incompatibility. If left unresolved, a lack of compatibility may lead to the decision of ending the relationship.
Lack of healthy communication
Maintaining respectful and healthy communication with your partner is key to a successful relationship. This is especially important in times of conflict. Couples that have poor conflict resolution skills commonly resort to the following unhelpful behaviours, also known as Gottman’s Four Horsemen:
Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
Other signs of unhealthy communication in relationships include:
Frequent arguments
Repeated conflicts about the same things
A build-up of resentment by keeping one’s feelings inside
Avoiding any communication
A breakdown in communication can negatively impact relationship satisfaction and may make it harder for couples to recover their relationship in the long run.
Abuse
Be it verbal, physical, or emotional, abuse of any kind can make a relationship unsafe and toxic. At its core, a relationship can become abusive when unequal power dynamics lead one partner to exert control and dominance over the other.
Abuse can take many forms, including:
Yelling
Vulgar language
Gaslighting
Contempt
Withholding money and other resources
Coercion
Physical violence
Sexual violence
Domestic abuse can also be directed at family members other than one’s partner, such as children, which can be further cause for seeking divorce or separation from an abusive partner.
Addiction
Addiction can severely impact the health of a relationship. When one or both partners engage in addictive behaviours, this can give rise to many damaging problems, such as:
Loss of employment
Financial troubles
Abusive behaviour
Lack of commitment
Neglect
Infidelity
For the partner on the receiving end, the relationship can become increasingly toxic as well as dangerous. While some people seek addiction counselling to help their partners, others may decide to leave the relationship if things get out of hand.
Absence of intimacy
Intimacy, in its physical and emotional forms, is a crucial component of relationship satisfaction.
A decline in physical intimacy can include:
Reduced sexual activity
Decreased physical affection in the form of hugs, kisses, and holding hands
Absence of simple touch i.e. in times of offering support or comfort
A decline in emotional intimacy can look like:
Failing to appreciate your partner
Not asking them about their day
Inability to have deep, meaningful conversations
Spending less time together and more time apart
These are simple yet meaningful gestures that help maintain connection and belonging in a relationship. Just as the presence of intimacy can strengthen a relationship, its absence can weaken a relationship, potentially leading to its downfall.
Infidelity
One of the most common reasons marriages end is infidelity. People may engage in extramarital affairs for many reasons, including emotional and/or sexual dissatisfaction in an existing relationship. While some couples are able to move past infidelity, others may experience a permanent breakdown of trust, and ultimately, the relationship.
Impact of Divorce
Experiencing the end of a marriage is not easy, and can result in many psychological and physical outcomes.
These include:
A sense of grief
Financial stress
Difficulty moving on
Loneliness
Denial and anger
Substance abuse
Health problems
Some people may seek couples counselling to address these problems in their marriage. However, what works for one couple doesn’t always have to work for another.
Witnessing their parents’ divorce can also have a negative impact on the psychological and emotional well-being of children. It is crucial to check in with your children, and if necessary, seek child counselling to help them come to terms with such circumstances.
Reach Out To Us
Located in the beautiful Orchard Treatment & Wellness Center at 4012 Perth Rd #107, Shakespeare Ontario, we are local to Stratford, Tavistock, New Hamburg, and the Kitchener-Waterloo area. Our clinicians also offer remote therapy across Ontario so that you can access the support you need - no matter where you are!
To get started you can fill out a contact form, call (226) 215-4244, or book an appointment online with one of our counsellors by clicking below.
We’re looking forward to supporting you!